Poster!

Performance Information!

The Long Christmas Ride Home
a puppet play with actors by Paula Vogel

October 23-25 at the Off-Broadway Theater

Thursday 10/23 @ 8pm
Friday 10/24 @ 7 and 9.30pm
Saturday 10/25 @ 8pm

email sadpuppets.yale@gmail.com for reservations!

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

the amazing cast:

Stephen.....Lucas O'Connor
Rebecca.....Maia Collier
Claire.........Peregrine Heard
Man...........Bobby Foley
Woman......Erin Capistrano
Minister....Jacob Liberman

Ensemble:

Isaac Durand
Michael Laskin
Kyle Eichner
Victoria Rogers
Catherine Leech
Lily Lamb-Atkinson

hooray!

Audition poster!

Monologues (Women)

REBECCA

(disheveled, lurches up to a window, calls up)

Chester! Chester! What are you doin’ home? Hey Chester – My keys aren’t working in the lock! Come on down an’ let me in, it is fucking freezing frigid. Chester! I’m down here on the street –

When I was going to tell you what?

Did you read my Mail?!?

Okay. So I’m pregnant. Shit happens. I was gonna tell you when you got back home – Congratulations! Now let me in the goddamn door. The mother of your whatever-it-is is freezing to death out here.

I had a drink with the girls at Toppers! A little Christmas ho ho ho – I had One little drink!

An’ about five little chasers … I’m not keeping it anyway …

What are you calling me?!

You always were a son of a bitch with math. So you were out of town on a business trip three months ago – wait a minute – did you go through my Diary? Did you? Did You Read My – !?

Okay, okay! The “R” in my Diary stands for Rick.

CLAIRE

(watching a display of adultery in her girlfriend’s window. Denial.)

Ah, the floor show is about to begin. Naked lesbian law students. They’ll make out like this for a long time, until Betty’s law school work ethic pops up, stronger than their libidos: time to crack the books for tort class.

Naomi, I’m down here. I’m watching. Look down here, look down here…

Once upon a time, I went through my own golden girl stage. I determined a long time ago that I would never again be a golden girl, but oh I could bed them. I still can’t believe I talked these girls into sleeping with me: tall, blue-eyed, blonde – the difference in height just spurred me on: as they stretched themselves down on the bed, they were a large canvas and I a young Jackson Pollack, ready to fill every inch…

Naomi, Naomi, down here – I’m down here.

Okay; tonight will be the night that Naomi stops; she thinks for a moment; she remembers me and –

And she comes back to me… Naomi… For God’s sake, stop…

(the light goes out in the window)

Oh – oh that’s not a good sign. I fear my Naomi has found her golden girl.

MOTHER

(she narrates for herself and all others. She sits in the passenger seat, her husband driving the family to dinner at her parents apartment.)

For a moment, the family breathed in deeply.

Rebecca, the eldest, said to her brother Stephen
In a voice so low
It could not be heard in the front:
“Don’t breathe on me, Puke-Breath.”
And she accompanied it with a sharp jab.

Stephen pressed up to the glass
And let the smooth chill caress his cheek.

Claire, the youngest, chimed in next:
“If you’re gonna throw up, do it on
Your clothes this time.”

The mother glanced at her husband.
“Ray? Maybe we should pull over?”

And in a voice too low to be heard in the back
Her husband muttered:
“Maybe we should just go home.”

“We go through this every year. Please.
It’s Christmas.”

Monologues (Men)

STEPHEN 1

(Stephen pounds on the door. And pounds, almost panting with rage.)

Open the Door!
Jesus Christ! Joe! Joe!

You son of a bitch, I know you’re in there. Open. Up. This goddamn door!

You’re in there with your little boyfriend. The one who just last year was an altar boy at St. Christopher’s. The one who started shaving last month. The one who is so dewy-eyed that he believes all the bullshit you give him. I swear to god, you coward, that if you don’t open up, I’m going to break this door down. I’ll smash the lock.

JOE! All of our neighbors in the entire Castro are listening to this little scene.

(to a neighbor next door) – Randy, I’m sorry I’ve disturbed you – please go back to the porno tapes you sit and watch in a stupor all night – well, then, call the police!

Joe! You asswipe! I’m breaking through this door! I’ll smash the glass!! Joe!

…He knows I won’t break down the door. I restored this door – it’s from the original house. 1897. It’s beautiful. Solid Oak.

STEPHEN 2

(Having contracted AIDS, Stephen becomes the Ghost of Stephen)

– Oh! How my sisters will cry. I could feel the virus entering my body. But I could not undo what had been done.

And for the next several years, I could feel the virus multiply with a ferocious beauty – replicating patterns that changed and mutated.

As the battle raged inside me, I had just enough time to think. I thought a lot about Ukiyo-E. The Floating World.

And while I was still strong enough, I would walk from my North Beach apartment to Japantown to study Sado – the Japanese Tea Ceremony.

I admired the bowl. I tried not to think. I contemplated the flowers. I tried not to think. I sipped the tea – I tried not to think.

And in the end, when the patterns of the virus dominated my blood as I struggled to breathe: I still remembered how blue Joe’s eyes were.

No matter my efforts: I died just another white boy in San Francisco, dressed in silk, writing haiku to the fog.

FATHER

(narrates for himself and his family)

And as the congregation rose to their feet
And shuffled through the hymnal,
Their father spied his love across the room.
“When oh when will I be able to talk to you again?
I must see you. I must see you.”
His beloved gave an imperceptible nod of her head,
Then quickly Sheila Jackson smiled at her daughter, hugging her.
A picture of the perfect mother.
The father looked at his wife and thought: O God help me.

And their mother Kate caught a glimpse
Of this perfect picture of her rival
Angelically singing beside Mr. Jackson
And their mother thought:
“Look at her hands, look at her neck.
Oh Christ, she looks ten years younger.”

And Claire, the littlest one whispered:
“What do we believe?
Is Christ the King? What’s Redeemer mean?
Does Christ Rise like Bread? What’s the feast of Stephen?”
“Later,” her mother groaned.
“But what do we believe?”
“Shh!” Her father said.

What to Prepare

Please prepare at least two of the monologues found in the next two blog posts. We may not ask you to read both of them, but have two ready! Memorization is not necessary, just familiarity.

In addition, please choose a scene from ordinary life – morning prep, opening presents during the holidays, attending class, etc. – and be ready to perform it silently and highly theatrically. Don't stress about this too much... I just want to see what you come up with and how you do it! If you have any questions, do not hesitate to contact me at gary.jaffe@yale.edu.